have you left home yet?

"Plenty of people have marital problems because they haven’t ‘left’ to cleave to their spouse. You have failed to leave your parents if:

1.  you are more driven by their wishes and expectations than by your spouse’s. 
2.  you resent or hate them [parents] too much. . . . 
3.  you rigidly impose the patterns that you saw in your own family rather than working together with your spouse to create new ones that fit both of you, you haven’t ‘left home’ yet.”

 ~Tim Keller, The Meaning of Marriage (numbering mine for greater clarity)